Terrible Two's

I have been meaning to make a post about this for a long time but I keep forgetting. These are based from my experiences from my son through his terrible twos stage and I know I am just starting as I am not yet halfway there. It took me months to finally pacify his temper tantrums.

Basically children are sponges that depend mainly to our temperament and it is like a virus that spreads all over the house. There were a lot of times that my patience is put to test all over the place; be it inside the malls and grocery stores and everyone else is looking at you with pity or sometimes trying to ogle how you handle with your child’s temper. With one mistake you will be taped and worse is they will report you to the authorities. Yes, I get that kind of paranoia. But no, I don’t shout at my son on public places, as I am very much aware of how the society will react to it.

There were a lot of times I try to question my way of parenting because my little boy has turned into a temper throwing tantrum child. I thought there was something wrong with me or worse I patented myself a bad mother for that matter. Thank you for the good friend google that I know it was just a stage I had to go through my parenting journey and I know it has just started and the most important thing is I AM NOT ALONE in this.

image from google

Here are some of the approaches how I discipline my little boy:

Identify the cause. Your child may lack sleep or hungry that's why they are becoming cranky at some point. Try to feed them or make them sleep before everything could resort into some circumstances. 

Power of hug and I love you. This makes them feel loved and secured that even if they are cranky and observe that somehow there will be drastic change in their attitude.

image from google

Be calm. Even if you already want to scream your head off from anxiety while looking at the living room with too much clutter you might want to ask them nicely to keep their toys so you will achieve good relationship.

“Be careful” vs “Do not”. Your little ones are in the stage of being independent and they are trying to figure out on how they will do things on their own. Try to support their inquisitiveness by teaching them the right way of doing things rather than restricting them to learn things. Chances are they will do things on their own the wrong way.

Distraction. If they are screaming their lungs out especially in the public areas make sure that you have a better way of distracting them. You don't expect them to behave in a certain place without something that will keep them busy.

Reward and punishment. If he doesn’t follow me on keeping his toys properly I usually punish him of not letting him play with the ipod and watch TV. But if he does, I reward him of his favorite cookie and take him to park on weekends.

Give time. When they ask for your attention, you give time even if you are in the middle of finishing your chores because chances are they will feel despised.

Play good/bad cop. This is effective to the both of us. I play the bad cop and J the good cop role but he sees to it that when he tries to comfort the little boy, he tells him that what he did was wrong.

image from google

Be consistent. When you disagree already on something make sure the twinkling eyes of your toddler do not persuade you. Chances are, they will try to push your limits at some point. 

Ignore. Let your toddler cry and let them express their anger. When they try to calm a bit it’s a high time to approach them and give them assurance.

Incorporate fun in learning. Enjoy every minute of their childhood even if it means you make a lot of mess. Try to sing a song while you let them keep their toys and take a bath. There are times that my little boy refuses to take a bath even if he is already a mess and I tell him that I will make him bubbles while he takes a bath.

Again, these are some approaches that worked for me and the little boy. Some might and might not work for you and some might not even wok for my little girl. The key to what approach that will be effective to you will depend on the assessment you made and the trial and error. Every child has it's own unique  personality and we are responsible for molding them into a good person.

You may ask do I hit him? My answer is yes. I use a hanger and hit him on his palm or behind. But I don’t do it with anger. I try to calm myself first before hitting him. Sometimes things might not work for him and it would be the last resort. But I try to avoid doing it as much as I could.

Motherhood is not about being a perfect in the household and making sure everything will be in proper place but it will depend on how you will enjoy every moment with your children.

How about you? How do you deal with the temper tantrums?