Why I Choose To be THE Mother to my Children

Exactly four years from now since I became a mom.  As a first time parent, it was hard since I had no idea how to go about motherhood. It was never taught in class and there were only generic and collective thoughts that describe this phase. When one becomes a parent, there are not few but hundred (un)solicited advices here and there sprawling like a mushroom on do’s and don’ts. Everyone appreciates it especially me but because of massive social changes, things change.

Those that were acceptable before are not applicable in the modern times. Well, I am not saying I belong to the modern mom but there are bits and pieces which can no longer be applied in modern era. Until it was such time that I decided to do MY OWN WAY of parenting. It was quite hard especially on the day I wasn’t seeking for advice anymore but it was a huge relief on my part being MY own self/parent to my kids.

Restrictions. For more than 20 years, I have lived a life where everything else is dangerous and exotic things/creatures/animals aren’t supposed to be touched. Learning is contained to books, school, a little life experience well, hard way in that sense. It was when I was growing up that the more I was restricted, the more curious I have become. Nothing can stop me from discovering things especially those that interest me. That is one thing that I want to practice to my kids. I want them to know that the world is their classroom and bumps on the road are life experiences. There was one time when my mom told me why did I allow my daughter to go up and down the stairs. Why not? If she can, what’s stopping me from teaching her how to properly do it? Who is going to teach her do it? No one else, but me.

Choices. When we were growing up, my parents thought that just because we were kids, we DO NOT KNOW what we want in life. All our life, my parents, from the choice of clothes to the toys, mostly influenced our choices, most of all the courses that we need to take up in school. I am thankful for most of it but there are a lot of what ifs in me that until now I still wonder. My kids at an early age, has their own choices too. Most of them are mainly influenced by me but I don’t force them into something they are not interested. I don’t want to create a barrier in our relationship just because they don’t follow what I want them to do. I remembered the time when I was sulking in my room just because dad insisted on what HE wants rather than what I want to do. Sure it broke my heart, but it was a realization that not everything in life is easy and that when the time comes I too will become a parent, I should learn how to accept the choices of my kids.

Leisure is expensive (and dangerous). During my elementary grade, my life was contained in the four corners of our house. Our routine was school and house and every summer, we are stuck at home helping them with chores. My childhood was fun but the wanderlust kid in me stopped seeing the world. My parents decided to stop going to beaches because they said it was dangerous due to reported cases of rebellions. They believe in the mantra “better safe than sorry.” Well, I believe in that too. But I have pushed my limits too much to know when to put my feet down and make myself stop when it is time to do so. I want my kids to see the world beautifully. I don’t want to regret the moment and want them to see the places at its beautiful state before everything can be destroyed and industrialized. I am homeschooling them and there is no limit in their learning. Every chance we get; we take them to places where they learn something which cannot be taught in school. Believe it or not, there are tons of things that I didn’t learn in school most especially life experiences.

What about you? Do you follow ancestral way of parenting your kids? Why or why not?